


Break My Heart In Two

by kaisyacht



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Fluff, Incest, M/M, Read the warnings, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 04:14:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11372367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaisyacht/pseuds/kaisyacht
Summary: The thing is, Sehun knows the twins a little too well.





	Break My Heart In Two

**Author's Note:**

> Msg to Prompter: Your prompt just screamed at me. So I challenged myself and let me tell you, my imagination ran wild but the final product didn't. But hey, despite everything, i had fun writing. However, this might not be what you wanted or have envisioned, I apologize for that. But I hope you will still find, even just a little, enjoyment with what i came up with.
> 
> Author Notes: Special thanks to my kind and cool beta, H! I honestly wouldn't be able to finish this one, if not for you, so thank you. Also to Hana, for providing me with some /materials/ for inspirations hahaha, you know I love you. To the mods, thank you for this wonderful fest and for being awesome.
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING(S): Twincest, DP, Mild Breathplay, Infidelity

“Okay, who is who?”

 

Sehun had believed that it wasn’t that hard to figure out who is who between their campus-famous Kim Twins. But not everyone is Sehun and Chanyeol’s name clearly isn’t Sehun. Sadly. (Or perhaps, fortunately.) Although, honestly, it had taken him a while to get used to the two — who must’ve been thrown out from heaven’s gates for committing such a heinous crime of being so identical, because no one, let alone two different entities, should be _that_ good looking, it just isn’t right, it’s downright offensive — and be familiarized with them at the tender age of fourteen.

 

Four years later and currently a high school student, Sehun is more than glad to know people still confuse Jongin with Kai and the other way around. Though sometimes he wishes they could get their facts straight, because Kai’s getting a little tired of it. And although Kai’s a pretty nice guy (if they would disregard this one tiny fact that seems quite untrue for such a face but honestly, pretty scarily true, about his attitude), Jongin gets all sad when his older twin pulls his eyebrows together, which causes Sehun to endure a day of silence with the two.

 

So, being the good friend that he is (at least to their friends’ knowledge about him), Sehun plays hero and saves the day.

 

“The one with the bag is Jongin.”

 

Luhan scrambles to lean on the table and he’s amazed (because that’s all that he does nowadays), while Chanyeol squints his eyes—probably searching for something to confirm it, only to end in a fruitless mission like every other day.

 

“Is it true? Are you Jongin?”

 

It is one of the many differences the twins have as Jongin sits closely—too close for comfort to be _very_ honest—next to Sehun, arms and legs plastered to the latter’s very own limbs, differences that until now Sehun can’t fathom how his friends had missed. Because while Jongin clearly loves his warmth, Kai makes it a point to leave at least a couple of inches between the two of them, and _they all have been friends for years_.

 

There were times where it bugs Sehun, makes him feel like he hadn’t brushed his teeth enough or that he should’ve taken another bath just so the other wouldn’t feel disgusted with the mere thought of their skins touching, but Jongin’s always commending him on how he smells like baby powder and Sehun would argue on that case because, _Jongin you are baby powder_. However, the latter seems to enjoy those moments of being able to treat Sehun like the younger one that he is, so he lets it go.

 

At the end of the day, Jongin knows who the _real_ baby is anyway.

 

But it’s not yet the end of the day and Kai has chosen the unoccupied seat next to Luhan this time around, and Sehun might’ve felt a little pang in his heart if not for Jongin’s arm grazing his in a manner of a cat. “Let’s get ice cream after school,” he whispers.

 

Then his heart swells again, cupid doing that little trick of his and advancing next year’s Valentine a year early. “Of course.”

 

No one is allowed to be cute and sexy all at once.

 

 

\---

 

 

The first of the twins that Sehun had met is Kai, and it’s a memory he will never forget in a way that he wishes it had never happened. Safe to say he’s still alive and his golden jewel is clearly functioning just right, and perhaps, he’s a little grateful—for if it hadn’t happen, Oh Sehun would never have Kim Jongin on his knees at the very moment. Okay, he is forever grateful.

 

“I thought you wanted ice cream?” He asks casually, because this is normal. Just as _normal_ as him carding his dirtied fingers through Jongin’s tresses.

 

Jongin looks up at him, mouth full of Sehun, and Sehun is fucked. He’s so disgustingly happy for nothing makes him happier than Jongin on his knees, taking him carefully, obediently, boldly. He enjoys these moments of leisure, watching Jongin while the other watches Sehun watch him. It’s a game of endurance, one that Sehun takes reign of, after all Kim Jongin is the shy one of the twins. But Jongin makes valiant actions sometimes, throwing Sehun off of his game.

 

Like how Jongin drags his lips all the way to the tip, circling his tongue sensually around the crown, bringing shivers down Sehun’s legs. Surprising the latter to his amusement in the most unexpected of times.

 

He stares back at Sehun with the rarest innocent pair of eyes a sinner could own. “I’m eating my ice cream, am I not?” And just to emphasize it, he _licks_ Sehun.

 

“ _Shit_.”

 

Jongin hums, obviously satisfied with the response he gets. He sits down on his heels, using his hand to do the job. Sehun cannot look elsewhere but focus onto Jongin’s very own cock, pointing towards him—moving along with Jongin’s every miniscule movement. It is tempting him, teasing him, asking to be touched, be licked, begging to be ignored, be— _fuck_ , Jongin just twisted his hand.

 

Sehun tries to breathe, tries to hold it in, because Jongin looks too pure to be doing indecent acts with him after school in the latter’s very own room. But it is happening and Sehun had been embarrassingly deprived for a long time that he, admittedly, will finish even before he can feel Jongin if his lover won’t stop.

 

“Stand up,” he commands, bringing all movements to a halt.

 

Jongin obeys, using Sehun’s thighs as leverage to pull himself up. Without making any other sound, he dutifully turns around and bends. All privacy lay bare before Sehun’s eyes, all for Sehun’s to take. _All_.

 

He starts with the dimples on his back, where he knows Jongin would’ve giggled if he’s not in such a compromising position, dipping his finger on it, circling the finger around. He can feel, more than he can see how it affects the other, the area around Jongin’s hole clenching on air. Sehun licks the other dimple, dipping the end of his tongue just a little lighter—enough to make Jongin shiver from the mere touch. His hole clenches again.

 

“You look excited.”

 

Jongin nods, squaring his back along the process. The house seems to be currently empty of its owners. Sehun briefly wonders of Kai’s whereabouts but doesn’t dwell on it too much, stretching his lips further from each end. He hovers above the other male and pulls him on his feet, naked bodies flushed against each other through heated skins. “Were you lonely?”

 

The answer is immediate, Jongin turning around in his embrace and leaning in to seal their lips.

 

It is one trait that people wouldn’t know that separates Jongin from Kai, but Sehun knows intimately. Growing up from a family of working parents, Sehun had figured out the loneliness inside Jongin’s eyes. Maybe it was that force which had drawn him towards the other, or the fact that during middle school Jongin had only existed as Kai’s shadow. It was curiosity that encouraged him. Not everyone knows a pair of twins, but then as Jongin slowly stood under his own sun, Sehun realized he had already been slowly falling. The particular feeling of staying beside the other is undeniably too strong, and Sehun just couldn’t stop himself from whispering words of affection to someone that seemed like a little boy inside a teenager’s body.

 

Perhaps it’s a kink of him, or maybe it’s pure adoration, either way Sehun’s the only one who knows Jongin like this. And it turns him on in so many levels.

 

“I’m sorry I left you around,” he mumbles, hands steadying Jongin by the waist. “I got busy with school.”

 

“I wanted to call you,” Jongin starts, eyes darting towards their chests abashedly. Sehun lifts his chin. “But Kai said we needed to study.”

 

“That’s right, but next time if you want to call me, don’t hesitate, okay?”

 

Jongin whispers an _okay_ before leaning in again for a kiss, one that demands Sehun to open his lips. The latter secretly pines for Jongin’s kisses, they’re always different each and every time, but also tastes the same like the last one. The way Jongin uses his tongue to try and coax Sehun to reciprocate, each nip brings up feelings of anticipation for what is to come, the way his hands seem to be in need of holding Sehun down in order to ground his own weight causes excitement all over the latter’s body.

 

Jongin makes him feel needed.

 

In a way that nobody could, a way that gives Sehun every right to guide the other back onto the bed and on his lap. Jongin looks even more ethereal like this, straddling Sehun under the dimness of the light in his room, hands locked around Sehun’s neck, eyes lost in a pool of lust directly gazing at him. It’s such a sight, so intense, but at the same time, so intimate. Jongin leans down over Sehun, shafts directly aligned together, and starts working his hips. They follow a rhythm and connects their breathing, touches everything with just a ghost of their skin. Sometimes Sehun gets afraid of his lover, of breaking the other, however, Jongin’s vulnerability promises of so many things. Things that Sehun enjoys to the fullest.

 

Because Jongin knows just the right moves to rile him up, to make Sehun want to devour the other. Similar to how he had abruptly moved Jongin on top of his crotch, just so he could watch the way the other would bite his lip in order to keep his voice inside of him. He can feel Jongin clenching around him and Sehun wills himself not to hump against the other when Jongin closes his eyes—obviously loving his position.

 

“Can you feel me?”

 

“Yeah.” Sehun doesn’t waste a single second after Jongin had opened his eyes, looking so utterly dilated in their own world of darkness, and kisses the other out of his breath. “I can — h-hah — feel you.”

 

“Fuck. You look _so_ beautiful.”

 

“Really?” There’s a smile in his voice, covered in an almost harmless playful tone.

 

_Almost._

 

He plants both knees on the mattress and reaches behind him, long fingers teasing Sehun’s tip—fondling and poking. Then there’s the smirk, one that makes Sehun twitch under him because that _is_ Kai right there and damn the sudden influx of images that burns Sehun’s inner self. Jongin’s clearly savoring it, an obvious expression on his face, going as far as teasing himself on Sehun’s cock and having the decency to look embarrass. “Show me.”

 

Sehun hoists his torso against the wall, legs splayed on the bed with Jongin glued on top, eyes never missing any reaction the other emits. He noses Jongin’s chin, leaving butterfly kisses along the perfect jawline that he himself is jealous of. Jongin giggles, hands coming up and around Sehun’s neck—keeping them both locked onto each other, rubbing Sehun’s cock along the valley of his ass as he moves further into the embrace. Sehun hisses, places both palms onto his lover’s hips and guides himself for another round, sliding his cock in between Jongin’s cheeks.

 

Jongin _moans_ so deliciously innocent right into his ears that Sehun's grip on him turns a little tighter. With his skin marred of five little crescent moons on each side of his hips—Jongin grinds back a little faster, emitting a foreign groan deep into Sehun’s throat causing Jongin to falter. Sehun’s heart swells when the other seems to be unsatisfied and unhappy, being interrupted with his business. He kisses the pout away—a little distraction as he maneuvers his hand through a familiar path towards Jongin’s quaint bedside table.

 

Then, they’re adjusting.

 

Sehun to the extra little weight changes, Jongin to the intrusion inside him.

 

It’s a tight fit even for a forefinger and the heat brings promises of complete damnation, because Sehun just couldn’t take Jongin without the right preparation, but he could already imagine Jongin’s hole as a breath of fresh air if he is to take the other right there and then.

 

“Nini you need to relax.”

 

Red blooms in Jongin’s face instantly at the endearment he secretly favors, and he hides in the crook of Sehun’s neck. Deeming it as successfully distracting the other without needing the use of lips, Sehun introduces another digit inside of Jongin. He feels Jongin’s muscles freezing in time and allows the other to adjust, scissoring his fingers while waiting for the other’s body to permit them both exit and entrance. The hole clenches around his fingers, as if wanting more, something bigger, far longer than Sehun's fingers.

 

“Relax,” he reminds again.

 

“I’m trying,” Jongin whines quietly, loosening his grip around Sehun’s neck and retreating back a few inches.

 

Sehun smiles at him, reaches for one hand to hold in his own. He locks their fingers and plants a kiss of affection on the back of Jongin’s palm without batting a glance away from him. Jongin bites his lips, fighting a smile and exposing his love with sweet honesty.

 

“You know I love you right?” Sehun asks the same time he moves his fingers. Jongin gasps, audible and breathy, nodding his head while trying to remember the feeling of being stretched. Sehun remains gentle despite his abrupt change of speed, achingly wanting to dip into the heat. He rubs soothing circles on the back of the latter’s palm, while the other fingers _twists_ inside of him. Jongin squeals in surprise.

 

He repeats it again and Jongin trembles on top of him, cock straining for release.

 

“ _Sehun_ ,” he whines, wriggling his hips, biting back the moans of pain.

 

Sehun withdraws his fingers faster than he could take a breath, rubbing his lover’s entrance in a gentle cycle, trying to loosen a few more knots for his length. Jongin buries his head back in the junction between Sehun’s neck and collarbone, drawing butterflies with his lips—face awfully hot for someone like Kim Jongin.

 

“It’s been _months_.”

 

Sehun fights the urge to smother him with kisses to keep the child in Jongin satisfied. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” he promises instead.

 

And Jongin yields _completely_.

 

The biggest difference between the twins.

 

 

\---

 

 

Sehun frowns when he sees Chanyeol with one of the twins alone in the back of their school building. He lets his eyes wander for the other twin but figures the place void of another human being.

 

“C’mon man, it’s not like you to decline a party.”

 

Sehun catches the words and quickens his pace.

 

“Everyone’s gonna be there, even Kyungsoo! Well, except for Jongin though it would be cool if he joins us for a change but the point is, it’s a party and you’re eighteen—”

 

“Chanyeol, that’s not Kai.”

 

The words die first, before bulging eyes stare at him (Sehun tries to hold in his laughter for he’s positive that Chanyeol’s a manga character in his previous life) and back at the flushing twin. Then realization sinks in and, “Oh _shit_! Jongin?”

 

Said male nods timidly.

 

“Fuck dude! You should’ve told me. I’m so sorry, I thought you were Kai.”

 

Sehun takes the space next to the younger twin and feels him relax. “It’s okay. It’s not like it’s the first time this has happened.”

 

Chanyeol blinks, bashfully, slapping Jongin’s arm in a friendly manner. “We all know Sehun’s the only one who can identify you two. Without him the whole school would be in chaos.”

 

“Don’t exaggerate,” Sehun rolls his eyes with his words, but deep inside, his lips are one hyperbola.

 

“Anyways, have you seen Kai?”

 

Both individuals shakes their heads in negativity. “Try calling him,” Jongin adds.

 

“Right.” Chanyeol stretches his legs, joints breaking in stiffness, and stands up. “I should leave, don’t wanna be a third wheel or something.” He smiles sheepishly, trying to mask the embarrassment in his voice. “Jongin, if you feel like it you can come too, okay? I think you should come.”

 

“I’ll think about it.”

 

“Cool!” He waves a hand and proceeds to walk away only to stop in the middle and turn around. “You know what, why don’t you try hair dye, or shave your head, or, I don't know, just anything. So we can know if you’re Kai or Jongin,” then he’s speeding into the distance with one last smile of goodbye until the surrounding settles to silence.

 

Sehun loops his arm around Jongin’s waist, pulling the latter into his space. Jongin sighs a breath of relief but remains anxious—only proportionally hugging Sehun and not enveloping him. “Is Kai still not talking to you?”

 

Sehun nods solemnly, giving his fair share of sigh. “How about you?”

 

“He talks to me, but only when necessary.” Jongin looks up at him, eyes clouded with hurt and worry. “Do you think we did something wrong?”

 

A kiss lands on his temple, Sehun loops both arms around him and buries his nose on Jongin’s hair. “I don’t know. But if Kai is mad, he’s only mad at me.”

 

Jongin inhales Sehun’s scent and exhales the words, “I’ve missed you.” He moves closer, enough for decency and public display of affection. “They made me answer the math problem in front, I hate Mrs. Im.”

 

“Funny how you excel in math.”

 

“Yeah, but I don’t like people.”

 

“You like me though?”

 

“I mean being the center of attention.”

 

“But I’m awfully attentive to you? And you like me?”

 

“There’s a big difference between like and love. I hope you know which you belong to.”

 

“I honestly don’t know.”

 

Jongin stares at him, bewildered. “What?!”

 

Sehun grins, he lifts Jongin’s chin with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Actually, why don’t you tell me, hmm, Nini?”

 

Said male opens his lips, about to rebuke when he decides against it and instead stomps on Sehun’s foot, before storming away from him, heavy footprints on the ground. The sun’s beginning to set, the air’s starting to pick breeze, but Sehun’s heart still beats unconditionally the same way it always does for the guy.

 

Sehun laughs—hearty and light like the wind rushing through his skin, running after the other. “I didn’t know you’re so feisty Jonginnie!”

 

 

\---

 

 

Sehun gives himself three chances to corner Kai and settle whatever it is that is in between them.

 

 

\---

 

 

The first chance happens while the whole campus is on a lunch break. Sehun’s currently pondering ways to corner the older of the twins when, magically, all their friends have found one great similarity amongst themselves, suddenly having other (better) things to do than spend the rest of their free time in the cafeteria. It looks almost like orchestrated, with the exact second all of them stands up and leaves, leaving the three to themselves. Kai stares at the empty seats suspiciously, and raises an eyebrow after Jongin blurts out that he suddenly wants strawberry milk. Jongin prefers banana milk to strawberry milk.

 

Sehun clears his throat.

 

“Are you going to the party?”

 

Kai stuffs his mouth with sandwich, making noise with his big movements to sound irritated.

 

Sehun manages to hold in his quiet laughter at the other’s puffed cheeks, dismissing the mild irritation as well, and instead, focusing on Kai’s orbs—the ones that screamed warning. They are a shade darker than Jongin's, and although it is a little difficult to figure out, Sehun believes it wouldn't be too hard if one chooses to look closely. Unfortunately, no one gave the time, not even Kyungsoo—the guy with the largest eyes. But Sehun takes pride in knowing that he knows.

 

“I’m thinking of asking Jongin to the party, d—,” he bites his lip, unable to finish his question. Kai had slammed his palm on the table, cutting Sehun with a scowl marring his face. An imminent tug pulls on Sehun’s gut, his fingers curling in on themselves. His gaze never leaves Kai, his own composure quickly bubbling in mild anger.

 

“What do you want?” The words are thrown with the least touch of friendliness. Harsh and cold.

 

Sehun inhales deeply. “Can we talk?”

 

“No.”

 

 

Kai leaves even before Sehun could open his lips.

 

 

\---

 

 

His second chance happens on a Friday night, where Jongin is seen squirming in between Baekhyun and Jongdae upon his arrival, sixteen minutes late to their weekly tradition. Fridays are movie night, with delivery from McDonalds and KFC courtesy of Junmyeon’s wallet and Yifan's handsome monthly allowance. They take turns on which house to spread their ungrateful ass, and to be fair (as Minseok calmly explained, taking back his role as the oldest) they would spend two Friday nights at the twins’ house.

 

Currently, they are spending the first night.

 

“It's weird that you're late,” Chanyeol breaks through the noise, moving to make room for Sehun on the carpeted floor.

 

In his peripheral, he catches the alarmed look on Jongin's eyes as he passes by—deciding the night to be a good one to tease his lover and not rescue him from his oblivious attackers. “I had to walk Vivi around first.”

 

Yixing extends a quarter pounder towards Sehun from his nest (squished between Kyungsoo and the arm rest).

 

“You only missed the opening.”

 

He nods in understanding.

 

Luhan’s knees are like balled fists on his back, intruding but welcomed.

 

Somewhere in between the movie ( _“why does Dooyoung looks awfully like Kyungsoo?” “Soo, do you have a twin, too?”_ ) and Chanyeol yelping from a miraculously flying tomato (that landed square on his face), Sehun realizes the absence of the other twin. He scans the room and confirms his thoughts, dropping his gaze back to Jongin's. “Kai?” he mouths.

 

Jongin rolls his eyes, fully intent to get back at his lover, but wasn't given the time to answer before Kai himself made an appearance. Sehun dons a weak smile that went ignored as soon as their eyes met. It is a brief interaction that is completely noticed by the Byun Baekhyun, and then silently passed down to the Park Chanyeol with mistranslated understanding. Otherwise there's no reason for Chanyeol to make another room, right in the middle of him and Sehun.

 

“Jongin! Don’t just stand there. Come here and sit next to your Sehunnie!”

 

Chanyeol’s a kind individual that does not deserve Kai’s piercing glare.

 

“I’m Kai,” he threw in the atmosphere curtly.

 

Undeterred, albeit obviously apologetic, Chanyeol—along with others that is not Sehun—turns to Jongin, observing the said male for answers. Jongin's the complete definition of being on the edge between bolting right out of the room to planting himself right in the couch. He heaves a defeated sigh.

 

“Whatever man, just sit here. Kyungsoo's doppelganger is on the TV.”

 

There's another magical tomato flying across the room and landing on Chanyeol's face. Kyungsoo's eyes are locked on the screen when Chanyeol turns around.

 

Kai rolls his eyes, footprints landing heavily on the floor. Sehun feels a tingling in his palm.

 

 

  
He doesn't get to corner Kai though.

 

 

\---

 

 

“I've been trying to talk to Kai.”

 

Jongin looks up from his lap, eyes searching and inquiring. They’re void of its trademark softness. Sehun smiles down on him, fingers automatically carding through silky strands of hair. Jongin's eyes closes mechanically, a small upward lilt lingering on his lips. Sehun inhales.

 

“And?”

 

“And,” he pauses, clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “There’s not much progress. He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

 

Jongin hums, turning on his side. The TV is silently playing a rerun of Naruto they've both seen too many times.

 

“I think he’s avoiding me. No. He is avoiding me.”

 

“Do you miss hanging-out with him?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Silence.

 

Sehun averts his eyes on the show, Kushina’s crying her last words to her infant. His heart squeezes at the memorized lines, leaving a frown of confusion on his lips.

 

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Jongin asks after a while.

 

Kai used to be in the same room with them, making fun of Jongin’s tear streaked face. But Jongin didn’t cry this time and Kai, Kai’s in some place. Unknown.

 

“No… I’ll talk to him.”

 

 

\---

 

 

The room is stuffy, brimming with bodies of different sizes, of different sex, swaying to the wave of current. The whole place is suffocating, the smell of cigarette and sweat lingering in the humid air, mixed together with voices of various volumes. Beside the occupied couch stands Kai, wearing a plain black shirt and washed jeans while holding a red cup, conversing with Chanyeol and some other girl. Sehun goes straight to the kitchen, nodding his head at Luhan’s greeting smile on his way. He grabs himself his own punch, inwardly hoping that his parents would be asleep by the time he reaches home.

 

“You came alone?” Yixing comes from the other side, his own red plastic cup hanging between fingers while the other hand’s hidden inside his pocket. He looks good.

 

“You know how Jongin doesn’t like breaking these rules.” He motions towards his drink, taking a swig. Someone’s either had a rough week or there’s just too much alcohol, he notes, grimacing at the after taste it left behind. “Fuck.”

 

“Jongdae made that mix.”

 

He groans. “Should’ve known.”

 

Yixing’s eyes crinkles upwards, patting his arm as he wanders off on his own. Sehun stays by the table, his own eyes wandering around the room. He catches Kyungsoo with Baekhyun, their fingers subtly locked together in the small space between them—little secretive glances directed to one another, young love and raw. Sehun averts his gaze, cheeks heating unexpectedly at the thought of discovering a secret yet to be untold. He takes another swig.

 

Eventually his eyes lands on Kai and the bobbing of his Adam’s apple as Kai finishes his own cup. A trickle of liquid misses his lips and glides down on tan skin, glowing in the light like the sparkle of stars in the night sky. Sehun drinks another mouthful, eyes scrunching tightly, the liquor slicing through his throat in a hot fury—burning of madness and heavy on revolting. When he opens them, Kai’s already in front of him, hooded eyes boring into his own glazed ones. He catches the strong smell of alcohol on the other, the redness of his cheeks, and his limb wounding behind Sehun for another cup.

 

Sehun’s body moves on its own, grabbing Kai’s upper arm on instinct. The other’s eyes flickers dangerously.

 

“You’re drunk,” he mutters under his breath, lightheaded.

 

“Let. Go.”

 

The warning in his voice is evident, as well as the goose bumps on Sehun’s flesh. It sears where their skin touches, little needles prickling from the inside out. A bruise would undoubtedly manifest to where they met, had it been possible.

 

He gulps, moving his fingers. “We need to talk.”

 

Kai yanks his hand harshly, causing Sehun’s cup to topple over him and drench his pants.

 

“ _Shit_. I’m so sorry Ka—”

 

His apology gets cut off when Kai drags him out of the kitchen and into the throng of crowd, dodging bodies here and there. Sehun lowers his head, eyes stinging from the overwhelming emotions yet to be named, running through his veins. He trips a couple of times, forehead bumping onto Kai’s back—the other’s undeniable presence invading his clouded mind. In their haste he chances a brief glance to their group of friends, each of their own worry plastered all over their faces. Sehun tries to reassure them, to reassure himself that the lour on Kai’s visage is caused by the people blocking their path and nothing else. But Sehun fails to do so as they made their detour, closing a door Sehun hadn’t seen to be there.

 

The noise significantly dies to a buzzing in the background, the air a lot cooler than with the rest of the house. Kai turns on a lampshade. The walls glows in yellow, illuminating little post-it’s decorating on one side. Sehun spies a house shirt missing the laundry basket by a few inches. A lone sock on the study table, stock of books collecting dusts, and a collection of cd.

 

“Speak.”

 

The sound drives him back to his companion, finding comfort on the twin size bed, voice low and sober. As if Kai hadn't been drinking—isn’t mad in the first place. The redness on his cheeks had already subsided to a soft hue of pink, or perhaps it's the light, fooling Sehun with some tricks and providing him familiarity about the guy before him. Friendly and sane.

 

He settles his weight on his left heel, hip jutting out. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

 

Sehun’s voice is close, clipped sharply on the edges. His expression is hidden beneath a new facade.

 

Kai’s staring at him, seemingly entertaining himself. “Do you want to know a secret?” He asks, tilting his head on the left.

 

“I’m not here to play your—”

 

“Here’s a confession.”

 

Kai casually tucks his right leg under his left limb, one palm resting on the mattress, supporting half of his weight. The right hand rests atop his knee. The light glow softens his features, his expressions, his dark eyes, rendering Sehun immobile on his ground. Kai’s in front of him, looking like his lovely Jongin. Beautiful and gentle.

 

_Where the fuck are you staring at?_ He remembers the first words Kai had said to him, caught red handed as his eyes follows Kai’s fingers on his zipper. Sehun only wanted to take a quick piss, empty his bladder and ran back to class. But Kai was there as he entered and Sehun—still fresh from coming out—unconsciously slid his eyes all over the other’s body.

 

He had bowed a couple of times, knees transforming into jellies from fear while his heart beats madly as he gets pinned against the wall with a hand on his air passage. Kai is beautiful and rough, not beautiful and gentle.

 

Their first encounter paved way to many more later, until the animosity turned into teasing, and Sehun flushing from his imaginations. He had met Jongin by then, but Kai’s presence dominated his brother at that time.

 

_That’s Jongin, not me, you're checking out. Tell me Sehun, me or my brother?_

 

It was that provoking challenge that changed everything. Sehun had memorized Kai’s body faster than he could memorize the periodic table. They became fuck buddies first before they even became friends. Exploring their wants before they learned of each other’s story.

 

He has never seen Kai like this, like Jongin. It stirs something inside his stomach, something unheard of but— turning his lunch upside down. He had picked Kai to answer the challenge, however, changed his mind when Jongin came out. But now he wants to laugh. He also wants to cry, because there’s Jongin in Kai’s body and sometimes, sometimes he sees Kai in Jongin and it’s not fair. Not when Sehun realizes just how much he dangerously misses _Kai._

 

And how much he wants to restate their memories of breaking the rules. The laughs, the touches, the feeling of his body leaning over him. Sehun misses Kai’s lips with a wave of fear, of need, of want. He tries to think of Jongin, of his boyfriend, and swallows hard.

 

He sees Kai in the picture, next to his lover.

 

Sehun’s stomach plummets to the ground. The fear increases tenfold, wrecking his mind for any justification to the beating of his heart. The room suddenly sways, his eyes follows as Kai’s lips moves to the swirl of his words, he can’t hear—

 

“—I love you.”

 

—stop.

 

And the room stops swaying, words are suddenly ringing of clarity. Sehun holds his heart like he holds his breath.

 

“What?”

 

Kai gives him a look, an exasperated sigh leaving his lips. “I said, I love you.” Sehun swallows, fingers trembling. “Why do you think I avoided you?”

 

He answers in silence.

 

Another sigh. “I have nothing against your relationship with my brother. But everyone has his limits. Guess I’ve reached mine.”

 

Sehun opens his mouth but chooses to shut it in lieu of striving to inhale the confession. Of Kai loving him all along, of Kai probably harboring the same ardor Sehun has for Jongin. Then the fear unfolds itself, rekindling an old heat Sehun has for the other that he had failed to discern. It makes his heart throb with painful longing. Gradually, it warms to the new territory, to the new feelings that might have been buried all this time. And then it’s running fast, uncontrollably, like a caged animal tasting its new freedom.

 

His stomach flips again, but this time, to a familiar path. His fear remains, though slowly edges off to acceptance. Kai’s eyes reminds him of everything Jongin had managed to sheath with his own.

 

“Why… why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Kai leans forward, collecting his other hand to join his right one. “Because I didn’t want to scare you.”

 

“Scare me?”

 

There’s a smile, soft. _Jongin._ “That’s a secret.”

 

“Bullshit.”

 

Kai’s eyebrows flies to hide beneath his fringe, he unfolds his body and stands. “You’re very hot when you curse, do you know that?”

 

Sehun tries not to tremble in the sudden excitement he felt cruising up his spine, mimicking Kai as he takes his steps, fast and composed. “Fuck you.”

 

“Really hot.”

 

The words fans across his face, Kai had moved swiftly, catching him off guard and cornered. Sehun can clearly see the pinkish of his cheeks and the midnight in his eyes. Mesmerizing, tempting, Kai is the definition of infidelity.

 

Sehun swipes his tongue across his lips.

 

“You want me,” the other states, hands securing their place on Sehun’s hip.

 

He shakes his head, but follows Kai’s lips with burning gaze. He doesn’t remember the room being this hot.

 

“Tell me Sehun,” Kai’s eyes lowers to his own petals, an inch apart from connecting. “Me or my brother.”

 

The facade cracks, Kai’s lips tastes like freshman high school—thrilling and scary. They taste of after school hours behind the school gym, in between class breaks under the corner stair, at the history section in the library. Sehun vividly remembers them all, and he hates that he’s still the first to pull the other in like the very first time.

 

For Kai’s never the one to kiss him first, unlike his younger twin.

 

“You’re entering danger zone, Sehun,” Kai says, in between.

 

Sehun knows damn well, and it should scare him off, threw him out of balance, not find himself clutching Kai’s shirt for support and closing his eyes. “I just want you back.”

 

Kai’s jaw hardens, Sehun feels the shift in their surroundings as he gets thrown on the bed. His heart continues beating erratically, anticipating. Plump petals descends on his skin within seconds, harsh and hot. Sehun gasps in air, fingers automatically latching on soft tresses to pull the strands the same way Kai’s lips sucks on his skin. He loops one knee over Kai’s right leg, tangles a part of him to hold himself upright while Kai feasts on his collarbone—licking a strip, breathing down on the line, grazing his teeth on the spot. Sehun’s sealed lips makes way for a distinct moan as Kai bites his skin. He digs his fingers harder on the other’s scalp.

 

Kai prints a smile on Sehun.

 

He tries to dismiss the tingling sensation it brings, dragging the others head towards him and reconnecting their lips. It lacks in finesse, purely invested in hastiness and desperation, an instinct drawn by forgotten memories. Fingers find their way underneath his shirt that turn into fists as they travel past his navel, hoisting the same garment up.

 

The air hits him once Kai has successfully undressed him. Sehun doesn’t cover himself, instead, reaches out for the other’s shirt. Kai deliberately sits on his haunches, his butt barely touching Sehun’s legs, giving Sehun all the right to rip his shirt off of him. Sehun doesn’t waste time, pulling himself up and gently tugging on the fabric—his eyes taking in a familiar stretch of skin in front of him.

 

Kai had grown so well.

 

He lets his fingers run over taut muscles, lingering on perfectly shaped corners. Jongin is lean, all flat stomach and narrow waist. Kai doesn’t have a narrow waist, but broad shoulders and ripped thighs. He grabs Sehun’s hand and lays it flat across his stomach. None of their friends knew of this difference.

 

When Sehun looks up, it is to Kai’s eyes swimming in sincerity. Nothing like the Kai he had known.

 

“Kai.”

 

“Sehun.”

 

He laces their fingers and something in Sehun blooms in comparison to a garden in spring.

 

“I love you.”

 

Butterflies rushed in, flying around from his chest down to his belly, and Sehun realizes how wonderful it has made him feel. Kai inclines his head to the right, slowly moving in, turning Sehun’s soft gaze into a shocked one as he captures the parted lips. The added fireworks forced him to close his eyes and let the man.

 

Kai cups his face and maneuvers it to the side, tilting his own head to the opposite part. He licks along the thinner seams, indulging himself with the labored breathing he had caused in the other, until completely introducing his tongue. Sehun hums, pliant in Kai’s palms. He desperately tugs on the other’s jeans, fumbling and failing in unbuttoning the clothing. Kai chuckles on his mouth, hand resting above Sehun’s to help the other.

 

“Let me.”

 

Sehun’s heart slows down the moment Kai gets off of him to stand in front. It hadn't change rhythm when Kai stepped out of his last garment of clothing. Neither had it raced in speed when Sehun touched Kai’s arousal. But when Kai laid him down and kissed him for the second time, it did, and it made him realize that maybe, he still loves Kai.

 

Probably, his first love, too.

 

He savors the feeling, complying with the other’s ministrations. Kai leaves a kiss on his jaw and Sehun is fixated with his eyes. Obsidian orbs are staring down on him, bare of its thousands of masks but holding a depth of something else, something intimate for two individuals. Sehun feels his throat constricting. The words are there, he knows, but his mouth refuses to move. And so, Sehun pushes Kai off of him and onto the bed. Kai is quiet, but Sehun doesn’t need the other’s voice to know that he is amused.

 

He takes Kai back in his hand, focusing on the veins rather than the other’s hand holding his. The blush on his cheeks is unnecessary, he tells himself. But the situation is far different from their previous sex escapades that Sehun feels like a virgin.

 

Kai guides Sehun, completely covering the other’s fingers with his palm, as if Sehun can forget something he had instilled in his memory. He tightens on the base, gradually loosening their grip as they near the crown. The appearance of a wet muscle on the tip makes Kai moan with a sigh, eyes zeroing in on the other. Sehun never missed a thing, licking the underside with his lips all over the head.

 

“Fuck, you look good down there.”

 

He makes a show of tilting his head and exposing his tongue, circling around the crown. He grazes his lower teeth on a vein and grips hard on the base.

 

“Shit.” Kai’s hand loosens his hold. “Is that how you suck my twin?”

 

At the mention of his boyfriend, Sehun falters. But Kai’s moving back in front of him, so that Sehun loses his mind once again to familiar sensations. He arches into Kai’s chest, hands now locked on the others nape. Kai lays him gently on his back, but his eyes are burning with desire.

 

Sehun opens his legs.

 

Kai offers his fingers and he accepts them with hunger. He holds Kai’s wrist and swallows the digits, eyes bearing into equally dilated pupils. Kai’s other hand travels to Sehun’s throat, fitting his palm across the pale skin in mild danger. Sehun’s cock twitches.

 

“You never change.”

 

Sehun playfully bites on the digits.

 

Kai tightens his grip the same time he pushes his fingers further down Sehun’s throat. Sehun chokes, his nails slowly digging onto tan skin. His breathing already limited, Kai adds more pressure on his throat, immediately causing tears down Sehun’s temple. He leans closer, chests flushed in between a layer of sweat, planting a fleeting kiss on the corner of Sehun’s lips.

 

“Nice and wet, Sehunnie. We don’t have lube.”

 

Sehun tries to run his tongue on the length, but the pressure on his throat makes it difficult and he ends up choking instead. He closes his eyes, cock twitching despite everything else. His head feels light, the noise outside rings next to his lobes, the smell of arousal invades his clouded mind, and his fingers are turning cold. When Kai rubs his leg on his cock, Sehun trashes in his hold.

 

Kai releases him all at once, but his thigh remains moving on his cock. Sehun cries with his coughing, breathing heavily as he turns on his side. Kai licks his tears, “You did good, baby.” He brushes Sehun’s strands, “So good, so beautiful.”

 

Sehun inwardly smiles as his chest tingles with pride, he lays on his back and shyly spreads his legs wider. He reaches for Kai’s hand and travels along his torso to his butt. Kai kisses him full on the mouth, easing a digit inside Sehun’s ass.

 

The fingers are a bit dry by the time Kai fitted all three, brushing Sehun’s core like the old times. Sehun braves the stinging pain, biting his lip and swallowing a moan he knew to be of his embarrassment.

 

“Kiss me if you're going to keep them shut.”

 

Sehun kisses him, he also loops his hands around Kai’s head and bends his spine when Kai pushes his fingers back, painfully slow. He repeats it, dragging them out just at Sehun’s entrance before pushing them with timed movements. Sehun untangles one hand to grip his own cock. “I’ll come if you don’t hurry.”

 

“You missed me that much?” There’s a smirk, but Sehun can also detect Kai’s cock twitching with the threat.

 

He puts pressure on it, taking advantage of the sudden slip-up in Kai’s movements to prop himself on his elbows. Kai retreats his fingers and searches for his pants.

 

“You never change,” Sehun throws the words back at him.

 

Kai clicks his tongue, “Well, you never miss a party.” He produces a foil, tearing it between his teeth, never failing to make Sehun melt in heat as Sehun watches him work—rolling the latex on his hardened shaft. Kai gives himself a few strokes.

 

A few strokes that Sehun knows he’ll see once he closes his eyes.

 

“Give me the pillow.”

 

He obeys and lifts his lower half from the covers. Kai places the cushion just at the small of his back, leaving a print of his lips on Sehun’s navel.

 

The tip goes in without a hitch, but the remaining length burns Sehun’s insides. The cry of pain leaves his lips without warning, reaching down to his toes. Kai supports his weight on an elbow, moving his lips all over Sehun’s face while he rubs circles on Sehun’s right nipple.

 

Sehun scrunches his eyes, but regulates his breathing as much as he can and responds to the kisses just as Kai tries to move. It still stings, but the blaze gradually lessens in time with Kai. He folds his legs and hooks one around the other’s waist. Kai pulls as the crown reaches the entrance before plowing back with minimal force, establishing a stable phase.

 

The cry of pain turned into moans of pleasure within seconds.

 

Sehun suspects the beginning of his insides tingling, little electric waves crashing onto his veins. It finds home in his stomach, forming a tornado of destructive emotions—threatening to explode. The words are back on his tongue.

 

He fists the covers.

 

Kai hooks his other leg on his shoulders, folding Sehun in half, and drives in.

 

“Oh _fuck._ ”

 

He repeats the action causing Sehun’s toes to curl in. Sehun rakes his fingers along Kai’s spine, a long moan drifting with their ragged breathing.

 

“Turn around. Lay on your stomach.”

 

Sehun hisses as Kai harshly pulls out, but turns as he is told, jutting his ass in the air. Kai slaps it, one on each side, earning a mewl and a hiss from the other. He pulls the cheeks open with one hand and dips his finger inside. Sehun keens, biting his lip, nails scratching his insides. Kai adds another and watches as Sehun clenches around him—he strokes his cock.

 

“I could fuck you just like this.”

 

Sehun glances back at him and eyes his cock. “No. You wouldn’t.”

 

“Yeah,” he retrieves his hand and lines up his cock. Kai thrusts back with force. “I wouldn’t.” Sehun yelps, reaching for the headboard as Kai starts working his hips like a man should.

 

 

\---

 

 

He wakes up on his bed, without a headache and completely dressed. But Sehun knows as soon as he locks the bathroom, last night’s memory is printed on his skin. On his thighs, on his chest. He will wear Kai and the feelings he has awaken in Sehun. And everything will eat him alive.

 

The sun was glaring above the noon sky and his mother’s slipping on her last pair of black stiletto when Sehun finally dragged himself out of his room. “Where are you going?”

 

He notices a black purse with gold linings on the top cover, the one she favors amongst the rest of her collection, on her hand and her car keys dangling from dainty fingers. “Meeting with my friends.”

 

He hums noncommittally, leaning on a nearby wall.

 

“How do I look?”

 

Sehun hasn’t changed out of his middle school sweat pants and intramurals t-shirt, he probably also has mucus in the corner of his lids. “Fancy.”

 

She smiles, eyes curving upwards in little crescent moons. He has her eyes, people tell him. “Your father’s out with your uncle, playing golf, and I’ll be meeting with them after six. Do you want to join us then?”

 

He ponders about it and the dinner talk the adult would have, and shakes his head. “I wanna rest.”

 

Her mother clicks her tongue. “I figured. What time did you come home last night?”

 

“Uh… past two?”

 

A flinty look crosses her dolled up face, drenching Sehun’s toes with cold water. “You will be graduating from high school soon Sehun, and college will be nothing like it. I presume that these parties wouldn’t affect your studies, right?”

 

He nods, unable to respond completely.

 

“Anyway,” she lets out a breath and her expression loosens. “Your boyfriend came here earlier but you were asleep.” Sehun's whole body turns cold. “I would've woken you up but he insists that you must be tired. Such a sweet boy, make sure to treat him good,” she moves towards the door and he follows behind on stiff legs. “Oh, and invite him over for dinner some time. The last time we all sat together was when we thought you're dating your best friend, and that's the first time you introduced Jongin.” She bids him goodbye, leaning her cheek for a kiss, barely noticing the sudden paleness of his son’s lips.

 

The sound of the door’s hinges reverberates in his ear. The bile in his throat is undeniable and tastes awful. Jongin had come, probably with the knowledge of what went down with him and Kai.

 

A dull thud fires off, ricocheting inside his head.

 

 

\---

 

 

He slept off the rest of Saturday and buried himself with school related stuff on Sunday.

 

 

\---

 

 

When Monday came, Sehun’s phone has already died down on the eighteenth missed call. He gives it a long suffering look then leaves it on his bed and dragged his body to school. Sehun admittedly hates the place like the rest, but he never dreaded attending his classes until it happened. To his relief, Jongin’s shadow is yet to grace his line of sight, though he understands it's only a matter of time.

 

He knows not to trust Chanyeol when it comes to differentiating the twins, still, the thought of the taller male actually getting it right this time, scares him a bit. However, as the empty space beside him remains unoccupied, the turmoil in him dwindles a little. Yet, he never felt any less guilty. (He's only glad nobody mentioned what they saw last Friday.)

 

“Jongin’s absent today.” Kai informs, directly at Sehun.

 

In the background, Sehun recognizes Minseok’s voice muttering an, _I told you that one is Kai._

 

“Really?” Chanyeol’s gaze on his side profile is heavy, and Sehun's ears are starting to burn in heat.

 

“Sehun,” said male suppresses the urge to cower at Kai’s dominant voice. But his surroundings felt a little lighter, he can distinguish the subtle traces of what could be a smile amongst his friends, for reasons he’d rather not know. Although he could faintly hear something about a bet. “Jongin’s asking why you didn't answer his calls.”

 

A moment of terse silence passes by, broken solely by a third person in their surroundings.

 

“I was…” he shuffles his gaze down on his lunch, bitterly realizing his sudden lack of appetite. His stomach's currently swirling with unspecified emotions, and he’s not sure enough if he has the energy to respond without sounding a little less out of life. “Busy doing homework. Sorry.”

 

“Give him a call.”

 

“Okay,” he sighs.

 

“Hey, you alright?” Luhan inquires, partly worried and half curious to Sehun's lack of vigor. Baekhyun’s moving steadily on Jongin’s claimed seat with a thin layer of permission in his eyes for approval. Sehun wonders why he even asked, he's already occupied the seat. “Did something happen?”

 

He shakes his head in apprehension and catches a glimpse of Kai, looking somewhat worried himself. He gnaws the inside of his lower lip.

 

“Nah,” Jongdae expresses. “I think he's just missing his cute boyfriend. You guys know how joint to the hip they are.”

 

“Right. But Kai’s still here, so you can stare at him instead.” Chanyeol teases, although earns himself a friendly jab on the shoulder. Sehun refuses to lift his head. “Oh c’mon dude,” he whines at first, before a suggestive smile takes reign on his face. “We all know the two of you are also _joined_ on the hip.”

 

There's a cough.

 

And Sehun wants to bury himself alive.

 

“Best friends! I meant as best friends!” Chanyeol corrects immediately, arms flailing around the table.

 

Then there's laughter. Good natured laughter coming from Yixing. “We know dude. We’re just making fun of you.”

 

“Well, you're no fun,” the taller male starts, a pout in his voice. “You told me yesterday we’ll jam but you never showed up. Dude I waited for hours.”

 

“Why would you even wait that long?”

 

“Excuse me? Because were friends?”

 

“Apparently to Yixing, you’re not.”

 

“I’m deeply offended.”

 

“You’ll lear—”

 

Sehun remains unresponsive the rest of their lunch. He tries to make eye contact but resists the pair of obsidian crystals that is burning his right cheek. He touches his food, although barely consuming his rice and occasionally transferring the grains to Luhan’s bowl. At one point in their conversation, Junmyeon admits his relationship with Kris—a not-so-secret secret according to Jongdae. Sehun wonders if Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s relationship is not so secret as well.

 

It is Kai that bids the rest goodbye first, claiming that he has some things to do and bringing Sehun’s lingering gaze with him. Guilt swims in Sehun’s tongue and a freezing sensation settles around his nape. The lunchroom remains noisy, upbringing the atmosphere’s warmth despite the opened windows. He lets Minseok leave after a couple of minutes behind Kai’s departure, followed by Baekhyun and Yixing, before Sehun excuses himself.

 

The hallway is littered by a couple of groups, each standing by the unlatched doors. Sehun is about to ask his classmates a way inside the room when Kai’s arm drapes over his shoulder and steers him out of the way, and into the left wing of the building, under the last staircase. He gives Sehun no time to protest and presses their lips together.

 

Sehun’s knees buckles inwardly.

 

“I’ve missed you,” Kai breathes, the tip of his nose brushes against Sehun’s own. He leans down again and plants a harmless kiss, arms possessively wounding around Sehun’s middle.

 

“Kai,” he reaches around said male’s shoulder and clutches the fabric. “Jongin came by my house,” he says, voice unsteady with anxiety. “Did you tell him?”

 

Kai releases him all at once, Sehun’s arms falls on his side. “No, I didn’t. Do you want me to tell him?”

 

Sehun releases a breath. “I don’t know.” He looks down, blood pounding in his ears, “I’m at a loss right now, and I feel guilty and ashamed. I don’t know what to do. I know he’ll hate me but at the same time, I don’t regret what happened. I…” He pauses, fingers reaching for Kai’s hands. “I wanna go on dates with you, eat ice cream in the middle of the night, go on road trip, sit next to you, hold your hand, stare at you for hours, I wanna play under the rain with you. But I also wanna do them with Jongin. I kn—”

 

“Hey,” Kai cups his face and a smile is gracing his lips. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be confused, you can have us both.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I’m saying,” Kai moves closer and eyes Sehun’s lips. “I know my brother. Everything’s gonna be alright.” He brushes their lips again, just a touch of feathers on pillows, right before the first afternoon bell rings.

 

When Sehun came home, he plugs in his phone and lays on the bed.

 

 

\---

 

 

_Hey, i heard ur not feeling well. Im sorry i didnt answer ur calls. Pls get better. I miss you._

 

 

\---

 

 

Jongin comes back on Thursday, and Sehun’s heart clenches at the sight of his pale complexion and chapped lips. He tells everyone that he’s feeling better compared to the previous days, however, Sehun refuses to believe him and pampers Jongin like a baby. Jongin tries to protest, but after Kai feeds him during lunch, he gives up. Instead, Jongin has kept his hand on Sehun’s palm the whole time, and when Sehun accompanies him to his next class, he braves a little peck on Sehun’s cheek.

 

Sehun ushers him inside the room with a smile, which Kai steals off of him the second Jongin disappears from sight, guiding him towards the building’s left wing. They steal each other’s breath in lieu of fighting the urge to undress each other. Sehun’s heart is beating twice with shame and fear, but shoves his tongue down Kai’s throat.

 

 

\---

 

 

“Kai’s talking to you again,” Jongin opens up, straining his neck to kiss Sehun’s jaw.

 

He falls frozen in his position, recumbent under Jongin’s weight. He fixes his eyes at the ceiling and focuses on the fleeting touches travelling up and down his middle. Jongin’s parents would be home in any minute and Kai is locked in his own room. They have done this before, but Sehun’s hands trembles in trepidation.

 

Jongin traces his teeth on Sehun’s chest, nipping at a perked nipple while his fingers hovers above the hem of Sehun’s pants. Sehun finds it hot. The tongue gliding along his areola and the load sitting atop his thighs are hot.

 

It is hot.

 

It should be hot.

 

But the faded prints of memory on his torso haunts him stronger than it did yesterday and ruins everything. They return with flames of blue, beautiful, yet, dangerous. He averts his eyes down, where Jongin’s lashes kisses the peak of his own cheeks, and encases the other’s hand in his. Jongin looks up at him and the innocent question in his eyes makes Sehun squeeze his hand tighter. He props himself against the wall, Jongin sits tall above him.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Sehun eyes him and asks himself how. How can he cheat on an angel, with the angel’s own brother. “I have something to tell you.”

 

Jongin inclines his head on the side and remains mum.

 

Sehun wishes everything is a book of dream instead. “Before I asked you out, I have been... sleeping with your brother. And…” he swallows, forcing himself to hold Jongin’s gaze. “At the party, I… we… I’m so sorry, Jongin. I have no excuse for what I did.”

 

He waits for the words, for Jongin’s reaction, for the silence to be broken. But it never comes, and Sehun realizes that Jongin’s hands remained as placid as its owner—quiet but not unreadable. His eyes spoke of hidden exhaustion rather of betrayal, and Sehun finds himself leaning away when Jongin moves for a kiss.

 

“I cheated on you,” Sehun is confused. “Jongin, I cheated on you.”

 

Jongin exhales and Sehun frowns—he's taking it so lightly. “Yes, you did.”

 

“Why are you not mad?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Jongin, you should be mad.”

 

Jongin lowers his eyes and gnaws on his lip. He gets up from the bed and paces around. He's not shaking, but Sehun knew when Jongin is anxious. He takes a deep breath a couple of times and finally grounds his footing in front of Sehun. Sehun sits up straight.

 

“I have my own secret and,” he stares at the door for a quick moment, deciding to unlatch it from its frame. “You can leave right away after I say it.” He informs, walking back in front of Sehun. “I won't get mad, but please, hear me out first.”

 

“Jongin, I won't leave.”

 

He glares at him, though it melts in an instant. “You don't know that.”

 

“Okay, I’m listening.”

 

“You're not my first.” He starts, right off the bat, briefly contemplating Sehun's widened eyes a second later. “Kai told me what happened. _Everything_. He didn’t want to tell me, but he’s been restless, I had no choice. Sehun, I’m jealous.”

 

“You're… jealous?”

 

He nods, fingers playing at the hem of his shirt. “Why? Why did he touch you? I know what you are to Kai, Sehun. He has never hidden anything from me, and from the start I’ve been envious of you. You made me feel insecure. But I’ve learned to love you.”

 

“I don't get I—”

 

“—Sehun, you didn't cheat on me. It was Kai who cheated on me.”

 

_Huh?_ “ _W—what?_!”

 

Jongin moves in panic and sits in front of him. His voice quivers when he says, “Please hear me out first.”

 

Sehun removes his hands away from the other, he didn’t like what he is hearing. “Do you hear yourself talking, Jongin? You said _Kai_ cheated on you.”

 

“You said you will listen.”

 

“Do you _fucking_ hear yourself?!”

 

“You said you will listen!”

 

“Yes! Before you started spewing some bullshit!”

 

Jongin scowls, “What I have with Kai is not some bullshit! It’s the most beautiful thing in our fucked up life. And if you can’t accept it then go ahead and leave!”

 

Sehun’s gets off the bed and grabs his jacket, thoughts fogged up with unknown anger and disbelief. “You do—”

 

“You’re not leaving,” Kai breaks in, leaning against the door frame. He uncrosses his arms and moves inside the room, the sound of the lock echoing in the suddenly quiet space. He walks towards his twin with ease. Jongin harshly wipes his eyes and stands up as well. “Sit your ass down, Sehun.”

 

“No. You li—”

 

“SIT. Your ass down.” Kai roars, the depth of his voice runs chills all over Jongin’s body. Kai wraps an arm around his shoulder and kisses his temple, whispering an, _it’s gonna be okay_ , before facing Sehun.

 

“Fuck you, Kai,” Sehun spits, displeasure on his face. “Fuck you!”

 

Said male sighs, “Yeah.” Jongin stands behind him with his head hung low.

 

Sehun forces to look away, his heart clenching and unclenching. “You both lied to me.”

 

“No we didn’t. You just never asked questions, and even if you did, do you think we'll tell you everything that easily? Sehun, we didn’t lie to you. You just touched a secret you should never have.”

 

“So the two of you have been fooling me around?”

 

“No. We stopped when you asked Jongin out.”

 

“You make me sick.”

 

Kai scoffs, “That’s rich coming from someone who screwed my brother in the dining table, and desperately begged for my cock.”

 

Sehun flares in mild animosity, his eyes twitches at the sight of Jongin’s hand clutching tightly on Kai’s arm. “How long?” he looks at the two of them. “How long have you been keeping this skeleton in your closet?”

 

“Long enough.”

 

Kai allows his words to hang in the air and let it sink in slowly, and when it does, Sehun sags in defeat.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” He runs a palm across his face and closes his eyes. Not a second later, he opens them to stare at Jongin. “Am I a revenge then? A rebound?”

 

Jongin looks up in utter shock. “No. Sehun, I genuinely love you.”

 

“How can you love two people?”

 

Jongin’s face offers a small smile, all broken and sad. “How can you not?” He stares at his twin and averts his eyes back to Sehun. Sehun curls his fists. “I know it’s crazy and disgusting. It wasn’t a walk in the park, it’s harder than coming out. But when you learn to accept yourself and just embrace your imperfection, you’ll see the most beautiful thing there is.”

 

An air of silence passes with Jongin looking all hopeful, while Kai’s staring at his twin—a mixture of regret and affection in his eyes, and Sehun doesn’t know what to do with it. Of the tightening of his heart, at the sadness marring their broken masks. In the end he forces himself to look away.

 

“I…” he begins, standing up and almost falling down at the weight on his shoulders. “I need to think. This is all too much.”

 

Jongin moves towards him and Sehun internally panics. “I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.” Jongin whispers, face crestfallen.

 

Sehun merely nods, mind clouded of different thoughts. He doesn’t spare the twins another glance, dead set on leaving the house, but stops at the hand holding his.

 

“We both love you, Sehun,” Kai says, almost a whisper. “And it’s not a lie.”

 

 

\---

 

 

To Sehun’s relief, the twins gave him the space he needed. The morning texts from Jongin disappeared, as well as the in between of his days and goodnight emoticons. Kai also stopped hauling him off to some hidden place stealing kisses and whispering promising love. They didn’t bother him, nor did they try to catch his attention across the hallway. It almost felt like the three of them had returned back in time, where the twins are only reachable through floating words, if not for the harmless act they put every lunch period in front of their friends.

 

He wanted to stop it though. He wanted to tell Jongin to sit on another chair, he wanted to tell Kai not to act all mighty and perfect in front of their friends. But he also wanted to see the sincerity in Jongin’s eyes each time he tried to whisper an apology, the unclothed facade on Kai’s face every time he catches a look.

 

Sehun couldn’t hold a grasp on the turmoil brewing in his chest. He wanted the opposite of everything, and at the same time, the present day to remain the way they are.

 

Indeed, it is crazy.

 

 

\---

 

 

The tip of his mechanical pencil breaks as he starts another doodle on his note, for the fourth time. Sehun sighs and drops the pencil—it rolls on the table, stopping right next to his notebook—leaning on his chair. The teacher in front, Mr. Han, is explaining about Identities, and Sehun honestly cannot understand how, adding one and tangent squared x would equate to secant squared x. Is it useful in life? Would the cashier in Coffee Bean ask him what is the reciprocal identity of sine x?

 

He stares at the window, the weather’s looking mighty good and the school ground is dancing in green.

 

Sehun bets Jongin could explain it better, with a calm voice and easier terms. He’ll have a smile on his face while trying to draw examples. A sparkle in his eyes at Sehun’s every correct answer. He’ll let Sehun take a break while he studies the next topic. He will be patient and attentive and—

 

Sehun heaves a sigh. The cold shoulders haven't gone this long in their past arguments.

 

“Mr. Oh,” the teacher calls out, successfully drawing Sehun’s attention back to him. “Would you like to share your thoughts to the whole class?”

 

He schools his posture and shakes his head, “I’m sorry sir.”

 

“Don’t get distracted,” he gives him a stern look and turns back to the white board. “Again, Double Angle—”

 

Sehun stares out the window.

 

 

\---

 

 

The strap of his bag slips off one shoulder as the noise catches his ears, turning around the corner. A crowd had gathered in the entry of the gym and squeaks of shoes echoes in from the inside, alongside the bouncing of a ball. He figures a match is currently happening, a heated one it seems, as he nears. The distinct sound of whistle is heard and the crowd erupts in different expressions. Sehun purses his lips, he hoists the strap and takes bigger strides. His mother is expecting him to be home early, something about helping her prepare dinner. He had refused, of course, at first, but her mother's tone indicated no room for arguments. Who is he to disobey when the food he eats are all paid by his parents?

 

He's almost past the noise when he hears the whispers that brings him to a complete stop.

 

_“Did you see that? Kai is so cool!”_

 

_“I know! Chanyeol couldn't even stop him even though he's taller!”_

 

_“He’s on a roll today.”_

 

Unconsciously, Sehun had started throwing daggers at every girl that opens their lips, while internally asking himself why he had even stopped.

 

_“Did you see his arms? I bet they'd be perfect for cuddling.”_

 

_It’s perfect, alright._

 

_“His voice! So deep!”_

 

_His eyes are deeper than the sea._

 

_“And the way he carries himself, so boyfriend material—”_

 

Sehun shakes his head, forcing his soles to continue their journey. He hears another whistle and the girls screaming in the background and decides to take a jog.

 

 

\---

 

 

“Sehun! Sehun!” Baekhyun's echoing voice easily caught Sehun’s attention from a good distance apart. “Hurry!”

 

The mild grimace on Sehun’s face turns into a massive frown upon noticing other students staring at him with secretive smiles. He curses his friend internally and stomps his way forward. “What?” He snaps, fruitlessly removing his friend’s arms around his own limb.

 

Baekhyun strains his head, the tip of his chin almost poking Sehun’s throat, and asks, “Have you seen your dear Jonginnie, yet?”

 

He averts his eyes and redirects his scowl at an innocent bystander. “Not yet, why?”

 

Baekhyun squeals and, damn, he's excited. Sehun hasn't seen his friend this animated since the time they all binge-watched the subbed version of One Piece. For a moment he offers a small smile, although hardly convincing himself that it is all due to Baekhyun's dazzling smile and crescent eyes. There had been a talk going around in campus, about the Kim Twins, but all Sehun could get through the buzzing information was that the twins turned the whole school upside down.

 

The doors to the cafeteria lands in their vision and suddenly, Sehun's gut twists in a funny angle. He quickly dismisses the feeling and shoves his hands inside his pocket. Next to him, the ball of energy seems to have taken a recharge and Baekhyun all but drags Sehun to the cafeteria.

 

“Slow down Baek, we’ll get there,” he chides, arm starting to get sore from the pulling.

 

“Okay,” Baekhyun slows to a stop. He faces Sehun and brandishes a coy smile. “You didn’t hear it from me, but Chanyeol’s a genius!”

 

Sehun’s eyebrows reaches his fringe, “Huh?”

 

“You’ll see!” And then, Baekhyun’s pulling him again.

 

The room is relatively packed and the line at the lunch lady has already established a corner. However, Baekhyun doesn’t stop and made a beeline towards their friends. Sehun protests, voicing the state of his hunger. But Baekhyun is undeterred, and Sehun belatedly realizes the matching shit-eating grins on their friends’ faces the second he was pushed down to a seat. Next to a boy with a hair dyed in pink.

 

“So,” Jongdae is one brave soul, he’s baring his teeth and his widest smile—he almost look comical, if not predatory. Sehun moves back a little. “What do you think?”

 

“I’m hungry?”

 

Jongdae shakes his head and points his chin towards to his right. Sehun notices the bated breath and suppressed reactions, and decides to follow Jongdae’s direction. However, the moment he does so, his world stops in the middle. Jongin’s fidgeting in his seat, a dark blush painting the apple of his cheeks, flawlessly resembling his ones midnight hair.

 

Jongin had dyed his hair, in pink.

 

Now, it isn’t a foreign hue on him, but it is, when put in his crowning glory and still manage that certain fluffiness.

 

Sehun’s breath hitches.

 

“Isn’t Jonginnie looks so cute?! So soft.” Luhan’s face looms in right next to Jongin’s, and Sehun is taken out of his sudden stupor. “Right?”

 

He blinks a couple of times, clearing his throat, and dejectedly urges himself not to slap Luhan’s arm, which is around Jongin’s shoulder blade. “Yeah,” he mutters, diverting his eyes back to Jongdae’s, in time with Jongin’s head perking up at him.

 

“Aww,” Minseok coos, giddily plastering himself next to Tao. “Sehunnie is shy!”

 

He scowls at the older but it quickly dissolves as Chanyeol presses him against Jongin. “Thank me, Sehunnie. Thank. Me.” Sehun’s only thankful he didn’t land in the same class as any of his friends.

 

Chanyeol receives an eye roll instead. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

 

“Is it me or are we witnessing them dancing around each other again?” Kris pipes up, his voice covered in amusement.

 

The tip of Sehun’s ears are flaming in embarrassment, but he cannot find it in himself to chide his friends. Because Jongin looks so illegally good in pink, he wants nothing but to hide the other from the world. And he is supposed to be cold at him.

 

“That’s it,” Yixing blurts, “I'm shipping you two until I die.”

 

“W-what?” Jongin stutters. Sehun can just picture him with flushed cheeks and widened innocent eyes. _Oh God._

 

“Oh God. Jongin, stop being so cute!” Junmyeon cries. “Soo, help me.”

 

“I’m barely managing. Sehun stop your boyfriend.”

 

_Are we still boyfriends though?_ He asks himself.

 

“Okay listen up people,” Baekhyun claps his hand, standing from his seat. Sehun wants to dig a hole. “Today I, Byun Baekhyun, as the founder and leader, commence the foundation of Jongin Protection Squad. Anyone who dares to even lay a finger on him, shall see my wrath.”

 

Sehun expects his friends to agree in a rambunctious manner, not the whole cafeteria. A litany of curses leaves his lips but they get drowned in the merry atmosphere. He chances a glance at Jongin and battles the sudden desire to ease the frown on the other’s face and kiss the pout away.

 

“I hate you,” Jongin mutters, directly at Baekhyun, when the noise recedes to a considerable volume. “That's so embarrassing!”

 

“Aww. So cute.”

 

Sehun’s eye twitches dangerously as Luhan moves in and he's a second too late to stop himself from blurting a threat. “Hands off Luhan.”

 

A pout forms on Luhan's lips, but it's the least of Sehun's current concern. Because at that moment, Jongin had stared at him with nothing but utter shock and hope in his eyes, and Sehun doesn't know how to properly deal with it. So he opts to excusing himself and get his food, rather than nursing the awkwardness.

 

Just as he is about to stand though, a tray is gently placed in front of him, and not a second too late, Kai is sitting across from him, managing to steal Sehun's breath away, as if he owns it in the first place.

 

“Ah! The underwear model is here,” Baekhyun is excited again. “Seriously, you two had made a drastic change. How is that possible by just dying your hairs?!”

 

Kai smirks.

 

Sehun deems it impossible for Kai to be hotter than the weather, but the smirk and the _blond_ hair speaks of volume. _This is insane_ , he screams internally, as he tries to look away from the other, but fails by a great amount. Kai’s hotness exceeds past the highest point, it reaches Sehun and tickles his sleeping nerves.

 

“Dude, your look just screams heartbreak.”

 

Kai scoffs at Chanyeol’s remark, Sehun swears he heard a chorus of long wailing somewhere in the background. He frowns.

 

“I don’t mean it when I say that if I were a girl, I’d be pregnant by now. But that is what I’m totally trying to say.”

 

“Well, you’re in luck because you’re not a girl Luhan,” Yixing deadpans, although Sehun doesn’t miss the lingering gaze Yixing throws at Kai.

 

Sehun’s fists’ curls in, he spares a glance at Jongin and swallows at the hunger in Jongin's eyes as they stare at his own twin. _This is insane_ , he repeats, staring back and forth at the twins. He coerces himself to stop, but it is proving to be a hard task when all Sehun wants to do is to sit there all day and watch the two.

 

_I must be really crazy._

 

As embarrassing as it is, after stating the hurtful words three weeks back, Sehun dejectedly acknowledges that a small part of him still gets all giddy and territorial at the mere thought of the twins. It doesn’t help that despite trying to forget the two and distancing himself, all it had brought him is the salty taste of longing. He wasn’t even sure if the thought of the twins in an intimate relationship repulsed him as much as he thought it would.

 

Jongin moves from his seat and Sehun follows with his eyes. “I’ll head off first,” he says.

 

Sehun looks down with a sigh, he’s not even hungry anymore, barely touching his food. He sighs again, almost missing the noticeable uninvited stillness that had somehow, managed to befall on his friends. “What?” He asks, slightly irritated at the expectant look on his friends.

 

“Well you know,” Baekhyun speaks up, all teasing and suggestive. “Aren’t you going to accompany your dear Jonginnie?”

 

As if on cue, Sehun’s eyes flickers next to him, and there Jongin is, with eyes downcast and lower lip bitten in between teeth. Sehun doesn't like the idea being imposed on him, solely because his friends thinks they need to tell him what to do. Nevertheless, he wordlessly gets up from his chair and turns his back from their table.

 

It was awkward at first, but after a few minutes, it got annoying. The onlookers, that is.

 

_“Hi, Jongin.”_

 

_“Hello.”_

 

_“Jongin, you look good in pink!”_

 

_“Can I take a picture of you?”_

 

_“Do you have Instagram?”_

 

Ever since they've stepped out of the cafeteria, Sehun had heard nothing but the pure adoration the whole school has for the shy boy next to him. They didn't even considered Sehun’s existence, but he figures now that people can distinguish the twins apart, Jongin's and Kai's, people will have no problem in expressing themselves.

 

The only problem is that, it irks Sehun straight to the bones.

 

“What happened?” He mutters, tucking his clammy hands inside his pocket. He feels Jongin staring at him but refuses to meet the gaze.

 

Quietly, Jongin answers, “Chanyeol convinced Kai to dye our hairs.”

 

He hums, noncommittally. The conversation dies at that and the awkwardness comes back.

 

They reach the right corridor in no time, remaining quiet as well as maintaining the couple of inches distancing them—which Sehun admits to secretly feeling uncomfortable of. They pass by an opened window and Sehun makes the mistake of sparing Jongin a glance, because for that quick second—that sight of Jongin’s hair being tousled by the wind, as cliché as it is—Sehun sees his future right in front of him.

 

And it grips his heart knowing that he could easily have him if he just allows himself to, if he could just try and accept what he truly wants.

 

He stops by the door, a look of blue painting Jongin’s visage. Sehun doesn't like how it seems to settle on him like second nature. “It suits you,” he says, glancing at Jongin’s hair.

 

Jongin breaks into a small smile and whispers a, _Thank you_ , before proceeding inside the room.

 

Sehun lingers for a while, unconsciously boring daggers at the poor door. He only leaves when students starts appearing from both ends of the hallway.

 

 

\---

 

 

The succeeding days were no different from the previous ones. Ever since the twins showed up to school with dyed hairs, Sehun had made it his mission to glower as much as he can at his shameless schoolmates. On the second day of transformation, Sehun ungracefully squished himself in the middle of the twins as they head out of school, and stubbornly wore a scowl. He didn't need to look sideways to know that Jongin has a bewildered expression on his face, and that Kai has one rude smirk on his visage. However, nobody uttered anything, and Sehun was already melting from shame, he ignored the idea of calming his malfunctioning heart. If he was seen walking like a robot, there were no witnesses.

 

On the third day, he's carefully holding two bags of freshly baked cookies of his mother to school. He isn’t entirely sure why he even asked her for them, and he’s clearly annoyed at something rather unknown. Perhaps at his math teacher and his offending homework, probably just plainly woke up on the wrong side of bed. Either way, shoving the cookies at the twins faces and then running off right after, dampened his mood by a great load that Tao caught him brooding at a corner. He refused to acknowledge the grin Kai dons, and pointedly dodges the secretive glances Jongin gave him during lunch.

 

By the time Friday came, Sehun had embarrassed himself more than enough compared to the previous years of his life, combined.

 

It was Kyungsoo's turn to host the weekly movie night. It is also Sehun’s favorite change in their cycle, not only does Kyungsoo’s mom cooks heavenly food, but they also have the comfiest couch amongst his friends. Fighting off sleep is extremely hard once seated on it, especially after a grueling week in school.

 

They agreed on a film about defending the Great Wall of China from some beasts, and so far, Sehun's doing a fine job battling sleep away. Though he couldn't say the same for the guy beside him. Jongin’s eyes has been heavy with sleep since school, he has been dragging his body the whole day and almost dozed off during lunch period. Pity tugs at Sehun’s heartstrings, finals is almost around the corner and he knew how much Jongin hates cramming—even though Sehun believes there is no need for him to drive himself hard.

 

Jongin’s head lolls on his left, almost dropping on Minseok’s shoulder. By now, Sehun’s attention regarding the movie has completely vanished and instead, diverted to Jongin with an alarming fascination. He couldn’t help the small smile from betraying his made-up front. Like this, Jongin is as angelic as he could get, spared from the nefarious world. His fringe brushes his left eyelid, and his lips are a centimeter apart. Sehun has already nailed it down in picture perfect memory, but watching it exclusively remains unparalleled.

 

With a mind barely functioning, he tucks Jongin’s head on his shoulder and focuss his attention back on the screen.

 

Only for the air in his lungs to get trapped within Kai’s midnight eyes.

 

Sehun has never seen him this serene, so open. He holds no imposturous mask, rather, Sehun’s reading right through his undelivered feelings. The ones he truly haven't said—more than the I love you’s, more than the I’ve missed you’s. All the sweet nothings and exchanged promises held no comparison with the unpretentious apology Kai’s trying to tell him. It goes straight to Sehun’s chest and hugs his puzzled heart without reservation.

 

It is silent, it is simple, yet, it is enough for Sehun to succumb to his own sadness.

 

 

\---

 

 

Jongin had held him through his crying, and Kai had tightened his jaw while giving him his privacy.

 

 

\---

 

 

The inevitable confabulation happens in the afternoon of the very next day, when Sehun is able to make his point and made the twins agree on giving it a try and taking things slow. Jongin is more than delighted—of course—about the new start, the glow in his eyes are back and he's as clingy as his bashful smiles. Kai, although denies the big smile he had been caught sporting, is back on lingering touches and knowing looks. The whole thing is an foreign and frightening experience, even the double beating of his heart each time Jongin looks for his hand, followed shortly by Kai’s small knowing smile.

 

Surprisingly, the feelings were not, in fact, unwelcomed as he had anticipated.

 

Sehun treated the turn of events as a breath of fresh air. The weight on his shoulder has been lifted, and to his amusement, he had found a new way to make Kai frustrated in front of their friends with Jongin’s help. The only thing Sehun wishes is for him to be able to hold Kai’s hand in public. But he figures that being able to lay right beside Kai while being cuddled by Jongin makes up for that little sad part of him.

 

Finals week has already begun, and just like any other graduating student, Sehun's stressing over subjects that might hold him back for a retake, particularly in math. He might have regretted not focusing on it, if not for Jongin’s ever supportive smile and generous heart—offering him a free tutorial.

 

Mrs. Kim was the one who opened the door for him, and Sehun was automatically engulfed in a familiar pair of arms. “These are from Mother,” he says with a box of freshly baked cookies.

 

“Oh my, how is she?” She ushers him inside the house.

 

“She's doing great.”

 

She nods, the amber of her eyes in a distinct warm feeling. “That’s good to hear. Anyways, give her my regards and thank you, okay?” She takes a step to the side and smiles. “Jongin’s in Kai’s room, they're helping each other with History.”

 

Sehun can only smile wider.

 

Kai’s room, compared to Jongin, is usually in order. No trace of discarded clothes on the carpeted floor, or school papers lying on the side of the bed. The stack of books are arranged according to their heights, and the post-its’ are color coordinated. So when Sehun entered the room without preamble and sees all the mess on the floor, he is stunned.

 

“Lock the door, Sehun.”

 

He snaps his head towards the bed and the scene drives him flying towards the wooden entry. Blood pounds in his veins as he secures the lock, the thundering beat of his heart coming in once he turns back around. “What are you doing?!” he hisses.

 

Kai smirks.

 

Jongin, moans.

 

Sehun’s eyes darts from Kai’s taunting ones to Jongin, lying beneath his twin on his stomach and biting on the pillow. His house clothes are strewn across the room, leaving him only with his plaid boxers. His hands are stretched towards the headboard, while Kai’s very own are busy massaging Jongin’s ass under the cotton. Sehun swallows, Jongin’s eyes are tightly shut.

 

“I’m helping him relieve stress,” Kai voices out, amused.

 

Sehun glares at him. “Helping him?” He motions towards the red finger prints on Jongin’s thighs and scoffs, “Or helping yourself?”

 

Kai smirks again, he opens Jongin’s ass and tilts his hand, the piece of cloth riding on his palm, exposing Jongin’s balls. Jongin moans again. Sehun’s eyes falls back on the younger of the twins and his blood turns south.

 

“Do you want to know?” Kai taunts again, he stands on his knees and Sehun doesn’t miss the obvious tent on his sweats.

 

He discards his bag on the floor and cocks his head on the side, deciding to play it cool. “Go on then.”

 

Kai gives him a brief once over that feels like undressing him within seconds, before resuming whatever it is that Sehun had interrupted a while ago. He descends on Jongin, tracing the tip of his nose along the spine. Jongin visibly shivers, his head tilting back in a silent plea. Kai pinches his cheeks, leaving a kiss at the small of his back. The inner hem of the boxer bunches around Jongin's crack, it stretches up from time to time as Kai’s hand moves upwards, driving Sehun’s attention on Jongin’s ass.

 

Sehun leans on the door.

 

Jongin's legs are kept closed, his knuckles are slowly turning white, but he remains pliant under Kai’s ministrations. His muffled moan reaches Sehun’s ears with Kai briefly brushing his front against his left thigh. Jongin tries to seek after it, wriggling against Kai’s hands, but gets slapped across his right buttcheek.

 

“You’re so eager today, Jonginnie,” Kai breathes. He stares at Sehun and holds his gaze. “Does knowing that Sehun’s standing right there, watching you, turn you on?”

 

He sees Jongin opening his eyes and tilting his head in his direction. The movement is calculated, intentional. “Yes,” and the affirmation is sexually arousing.

 

Sehun’s face heats up, his heart pounding against his chest in excitement. His mouth waters at the lust in Jongin's midnight orbs. Kai leans down again, this time, pressing his clothed cock on Jongin's ass, and capturing the awaiting lips in a filthy kiss. One of Jongin's hand shots up, grabbing onto Kai's blond hair, while the other props his weight from the bed.

 

Kai retracts his hands and looms one around Jongin's middle, supporting them both as he holds them to stand on their knees. There's tongue in the kiss, and a lot of expletives in Sehun's head. Jongin grinds his ass on Kai’s cock, diverting Sehun’s attention towards the dark patch in front of his boxer.

 

“He’s already leaking,” he mutters.

 

The twins broke apart, but the hands remain touching skin.

 

“Stress,” Jongin teases, directing Kai’s head down his shoulder.

 

Sehun eyes him and licks his lips. “Take the clothes off.”

 

Kai snaps up, a mischievous glint in his lips. “Commanding, I see,” he drawls, but untangles himself from Jongin. He stands by the bed’s foot, facing towards Sehun. He doesn’t offer him a strip tease, opting on undressing himself straightforwardly, his own shaft curving upwards.

 

“Commando, I see.” Jongin states, eyeing his twin. They both turn their heads on him, and Sehun’s eyebrows flies under his fringe at Jongin’s hand lazily stroking his own cock.

 

Kai crawls back on bed, his eyes are focused solely on Jongin. With the way Jongin’s provoking him, Sehun feels like he’s watching a push and pull game. He’s leaning against the headboard and has his legs opened, welcoming the presence of his twin. Kai stops shortly above him, and the electrifying exchange of gazes intensified as Jongin pulls his hand from his cock to suck a finger.

 

He opens his mouth, playing with his tongue. Sehun tucks his fists inside his pocket. Not a second later, Kai is feasting on Jongin’s tongue while inserting a dry finger on his hole. Jongin hisses, his fingers flying towards Kai’s back and raking down his sides in revenge. Red blooms instantly, and the muscles on Kai’s arms flexes each time he moves his finger.

 

They are making a lot of noise, Jongin’s unexpectedly very vocal this time. His moans, although muffled, are long and spontaneous. He loops his legs around Kai’s torso, allowing his twin to sit on his haunches and add another finger. The burn stings around his rim, making it impossible for the fingers to move smoothly.

 

Kai withdraws from the kiss, leaning his forehead on Jongin's, both chasing after their breaths. He stares deeply at his twin, seemingly exchanging silent words. Then, he's planting a soft kiss in between Jongin's eyebrows and completely untangling himself from the other. He moves a little, giving Jongin an ample of room, before inclining his head behind him.

 

He stops momentarily at Sehun's lack of privacy. “Come here.”

 

Sehun’s whole face heats in embarrassment, but does as he is told, taking no longer than a few seconds to stand naked by the twins’ side. Jongin gives him a knowing smile as he turns on all fours. Sehun gets on the bed, kneeling in front of his lover. He drinks in the view, of the thin layer of sweat sitting snugly around Jongin's eyebrows, and the swollen state of his lips. He cards his fingers through pink locks and feels a ghost of breath down his cock, and at the same time fingers tilts his chin towards another pair of swollen lips.

 

The simultaneous feeling of attention sparks the nerves on his toes. It spirals and goes haywire with elation, sending Sehun’s arousal in its hardest form. He curls his fingers on the soft tresses and motions Jongin’s mouth on him.

 

Kai releases Sehun with a resounding pop, getting off the bed. He walks across the room, thigh muscles flexing, on display, and rummages through his top drawers. He produces a pack of condom and the familiar bottle of lube. Sehun holds Jongin in place and fucks his mouth.

 

“You two looks so lewd,” Kai jokes.

 

Sehun offers a smirk, making a show by carving the outline of his dick on Jongin’s cheek as he thrusts back and forth.

 

He only stops once the bed dips and Jongin’s torso bows in bliss. Kai engages him in another exchange of kisses while introducing his fingers once again on his twin, easily brushing Jongin’s bundle of nerves. The room is covered with moans of lust, bouncing off on each corner. Sehun’s stomach feels funny with roaming butterflies and electric waves combined. His mind, a fuzzy balloon in the clear sky.

 

Jongin hollows his cheeks and pokes the tip of his tongue on Sehun's cock, using Sehun’s leg as support. Sehun schools his spine, tilting his head in pleasure. The sound of skin slapping is immediate, as well as the instructions leaving past Kai’s distracting lips.

 

A foil is thrown in Sehun's chest, and Jongin is already maneuvering him on his back to get his mind on track. He tears the package and rolls down the condom on his cock. Jongin hovers on top of him with the bottle of lube, pouring a good amount directly at Sehun. Sehun plasters his hands on Jongin’s thighs, watching as his lover slowly lower himself after giving Sehun a couple of strokes.

 

The stretch is a familiar feeling, as well as the burn and sting. Jongin sits completely still for a few seconds, encouraged by Kai and his soothing hands. They begin with simple hip rolls, while Jongin tries to ignore the pain, latching his mouth on Sehun’s collarbone. The mere sight of his twin fucking himself on his lover, excites Kai like no other. He strokes his own dick in time with Jongin’s movements.

 

“God,” Kai exhales, he has a fist curled around his shaft. “I’m so hard.”

 

Jongin bends his torso, automatically sticking his ass out with the crown of Sehun’s cock making a shy appearance. He shakes his hips, emitting a groan from Sehun and a deep air intake from Kai. He turns his head, a devious glint in his eyes.

 

“Damn, you’re so tempting,” Kai slaps his ass. “ _Baby brother_.”

 

Said brother throws a kiss, emphasizing his ass once again by forcing it down Sehun’s shaft. He arches his neck and makes a lascivious noise. Sehun, on the brink of running out of patience, props his elbows and leans against the headboard. He holds Jongin by the waist and fucks him with a mission.

 

Kai is quick to cover Jongin’s mouth with a hand. “Stretch him good, Hun.”

 

Sehun grunts, his visage contorting with exertion.

 

Jongin embraces Sehun with one arm, while the other one pulls Kai’s hand from his face. “Come on, Kai,” he breathes, panting heavily on Sehun.

 

“You sure?”

 

He nods and kisses Sehun hard.

 

The bed dips again, an unexpected silence passes by. A hand touches Sehun’s thigh gently, attaining his attention successfully. He withdraws, looking over Jongin’s shoulder and sees Kai, positioning behind his twin. His mind works double time at the sight of the others sheathed cock and holds Jongin just at his tip. Kai offers a soft smile, finding a comfortable position.

 

Jongin bites down on Sehun’s flesh, forcing Sehun to muffle his own cries, as he feels another presence at his entrance. The additional intrusion is a first, Jongin fears of wounding himself but trusts his lovers. He evens his breathing, clears his mind, and relaxes his muscles.

 

Jongin’s teeth deepens as they slowly help him on them, allowing a lone tear to escape its prison.

 

Sehun’s mind screams in pain, but the feeling of another shaft sliding against him in a cramped hole, stimulates his drive.

 

“You okay?” Kai whispers, raining butterfly kisses on Jongin’s upper back.

 

Jongin takes a while to respond. Sehun rubs his arms, feeling a light press on his bitten shoulder. Kai looks half concerned and half restraining, Sehun couldn’t blame him. Slowly, Jongin straightens up, driving both cocks further inside, and nods. He heaves a breath and experimentally rolls his hips, causing both Sehun and Kai to moan in unison. Jongin breaks a small albeit pained smile, satisfied.

 

He repeats it again, sexily brushing his torso against Sehun’s.

 

In the heat of the moment, Kai drives in, surprising both teens. He steadies Jongin and moves his own hips, thrusting upwards—slow and careful. The friction and tightness brings Sehun closer to the edge, overstimulated from the beginning. He watches as Jongin gives in and leans his body against Kai, showcasing Sehun a perfect view of something people often call as beauty. The slender column of his neck is covered in red, his mouth tightly sealed by his teeth, and his eyes dilated to the core.

 

“Fuck.” Sehun takes Jongin in his hand, moving his own hips alongside Kai. The carnal need for release is palpable in the air, with their lungs running after the other. Kai pulls Sehun in a kiss, all open mouthed and dominating. He had set a pace, allowing them both to alternately abuse Jongin's spot.

 

“ _Please,_ ” Jongin silently cries, managing to separate the two. “I’m gonna cum.”

 

Kai’s response is automatic, triggering the coiling in Sehun’s stomach. He hastens his hand, bent on Jongin’s release first. Jongin’s labored breathing rings in his ears, louder than their skins slapping against each other. It took a long drag and a little bit of a nail on one protruding vein, for Jongin to come and lock them both down in place.

 

Sehun’s own impending release comes in and he manages to pull out and off of the elastic rubber and take advantage of a listless Jongin, decorating his body with additional whites. Jongin barely opens an eye, lying spent on Kai. Sehun takes a moment, allowing his high to consume him. Kai grunts lowly, clearly holding back, he’s eyeing Sehun and Sehun offers a lopsided grin. He cajoles Jongin for a kiss, helping the older of the twins to hold his brother.

 

Kai drives for his own release, throwing all caution out the window. Jongin’s moaning in Sehun’s mouth, raking fingernails on his arms. It stings, and the unrelenting movements makes him hot all over again. But the soft press of Jongin’s abused lips and the harsh breathing from their other lover, is enough to satiate the hunger in Sehun.

 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

 

Jongin tightens up and meets Kai’s thrusts, he wounds an arm around Kai’s nape and whispers, “Do it.”

 

Kai comes with a long cry, his face a color of blood with veins protruding from his temples. He breathes heavily, dropping on Jongin’s back. Sehun supports both body, maneuvering to make room for the two. He gets off the bed and goes to the same drawer Kai previously opened, producing a box of tissue.

 

He cleans himself first, scouting for his sweatpants and forgoing the boxers.

 

The twins are tangled on the bed as he turns, picking up and wrapping the soiled condoms on a bunch of tissues. He disposes them on the trash beneath the study table and crawls on bed. He throws the box on Kai, but cleans Jongin all by himself.

 

“I’m kinda jealous, you know.”

 

Sehun only rolls his eyes, but he places a kiss on Kai’s nipple and settles himself between the two. Jongin automatically wounds an arm around him while Kai loops a leg.

 

“We should probably air the room out,” Jongin suggests, a little happy note in his tone.

 

Kai pulls Sehun closer, his lips right next to Sehun’s ears. “I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty comfortable.”

 

Sehun laughs, he’s feeling light, and his heart is in a state of calm. He side-eyes Jongin, “Mom wants to have family dinner with my boyfriend.” Then, he nudges Kai’s chin, eyeing him as well. “You should come.”

 

Kai arches an eyebrow, “Why?” He motions over Jongin and says, “He’s the only boyfriend they know.”

 

“Well,” he produces a knowing smile. “What they didn't know, wouldn't hurt them.”

 

“You know what,” Kai grins, “I like how you think.”

 

“Speaking of which,” Jongin pipes up. “We've got finals to think.”

 

Sehun groans, “Fuck me.”

 

“Later.”

 

Perhaps they didn’t know how to take things slow.


End file.
